Week 9: As the Twin Vanishes

So now that my due date moved up a day (up meaning earlier, or is that "back"? I always get that confused), it means that my gestation week switches on Saturdays, not Sundays. And it seems too, that I don't get around to updating the blog more than once a week, so it looks like Saturdays will works pretty well. I won't limit myself to once a week, but I'll make sure, at least, that I say something every Saturday!

Today has been a bit nerve wracking. Not long after waking up I found some more (and more significant) spotting... light red blood rather than the pale pink CM I'd seen previously. Only when I wiped, but it still worried me a little. I headed out to Babies-R-Us (in order to procure some B-Natal anti-morning sickness lollipops), but when I checked again at the rest room there, I saw more of the same spotting. So, rather than a leisurely hour of browsing cribs and baby clothes and generally "getting my Mom on" for the very first time, I quickly asked where the morning sickness stuff was hidden, grabbed a bunch, paid for it, checked for spotting in the rest room one more time, and then got in my car and called my OB's office. It wasn't a lot of blood by any means, and I wasn't cramping (yet, though I have been a bit since), but as it was more blood than I'd seen previously (and was blood this time, not just tinted CM)... and, well, it totally freaked me out.

The OB on call called me back a few minutes later; when my phone rang I was already making my way back home, so I pulled off the road to answer. I told her my story and she said probably it was the "vanishing twin" resolving itself, and, if it WAS more than that, there really was nothing anyone could do to stop it. So she suggested I take it easy for a few days (pelvic rest, nothing too strenuous, etc.), and call my doctor on Monday to see if they could see me next week to put my mind at ease. The spotting hasn't been as bad since, but has reappeared off and on throughout the day.

Edited to add: I wish I had thought to ask, or that my OB had come out with it on her own, how the vanishing twin would "resolve itself." [She didn't use the term "vanishing twin," but some surfing on the net showed me that this is pretty much what happened. The only major difference being that I didn't know I was carrying two until we saw that the second was already non-viable.] It would have been helpful to know ahead of time that I might experience some bleeding and cramping. While my 8-week ultrasound was affirming and joyful, it didn't really put my mind at ease at all. I've been more worried about the health of the living twin (and it's hard not to think of it as "1 of 2" now, even if the second fertilization never developed past a yoke sac) now that I know that two had been in there. Well, yeah, the spotting doesn't help.

Ugh. This is tough. I'm trying not to stress too much -- I know it's counterproductive, and likely this is all perfectly normal -- but it's hard not to worry. And DH and I are meeting with the genetic counselor on Monday to talk about testing, and that's all got me in a tizzy too (options, timing, what we would/wouldn't do with the results, etc.). I just want to know my little Gummy Bear is okay.