And... we're okay!

Called the doctor's office as soon as they opened and was able to be seen in fairly short order. My regular doctor (Dr. K.) is out on Thursdays (it's the day she does surgery), but since I will rotate through the other doctors in the practice throughout the pregnancy anyway, I was just glad that someone could see me today. Today it was Dr. P. She's awesome (and, by the way, I love it that all the physicians in the practice are female).

So, it does seem that the bleeding is all due to the second sac resolving itself -- being reabsorbed, squashed out by the thriving fetus, whathaveyou. I just hadn't expected to experience this much bleeding (this morning when I woke up, it was like being surprised by getting my period). Dr. P. said she can't tell me how long to expect the bleeding to go on for, but she showed me that the second sac is much smaller than the healthy one, whether through its own dissolution or because the other one continues to grow, or both. Eventually though, it should disappear.

Otherwise, cervix looked good, which was very reassuring, and the baby looks great. Saw the heartbeat again, and the baby jiggled around a little while we watched. It wasn't waving its arms as much as the last time, but what amazed me this time was how much more developed it seemed, even after only three days! On Monday, it looked more blob-like, but today, I think you can see one of its eyes, and maybe its face! And the hands and feet seem more dense, if that's the right word. I might be imagining all this, but see for yourself:

I am fascinated, much relieved and, definitely, in love. Both today and on Monday the baby measured two days ahead of its due date (May 28), but since it's only two days, Dr. P. didn't want to change the EDD.

Next up: NT Scan on November 9, and next OB visit on the 15th. Really hoping I don't have to go back to the doctor before either of these dates, though Dr. P. said that if anything comes up, or I needed reassurance, I shouldn't hesitate to call them and come in. I am so glad they are cool like that!

A bit scared...

Went to the doctor on Monday morning to follow up on the spotting I'd experienced over the weekend. Turned out everything was fine. Heartbeat good and baby measured another two days ahead of where it was last week, and I got to see it wiggle its wee arms for a second or two.

And, better yet, the spotting had stopped. Petered out by Monday afternoon, and nothing Tuesday or Wednesday.

Until this morning, when I woke up to go to the bathroom an hour before my alarm was to go off and found that I was, not spotting, but bleeding. Oh God.

So I'm on my way to my doctor's office. They don't open until 9, but I plan to call them from their parking lot and see if they can see me. I'm cramping just a little bit off and on.

I hope this is not what I fear it is. Thoughts and prayer would be appreciated. I'll keep you posted.

Week 9: As the Twin Vanishes

So now that my due date moved up a day (up meaning earlier, or is that "back"? I always get that confused), it means that my gestation week switches on Saturdays, not Sundays. And it seems too, that I don't get around to updating the blog more than once a week, so it looks like Saturdays will works pretty well. I won't limit myself to once a week, but I'll make sure, at least, that I say something every Saturday!

Today has been a bit nerve wracking. Not long after waking up I found some more (and more significant) spotting... light red blood rather than the pale pink CM I'd seen previously. Only when I wiped, but it still worried me a little. I headed out to Babies-R-Us (in order to procure some B-Natal anti-morning sickness lollipops), but when I checked again at the rest room there, I saw more of the same spotting. So, rather than a leisurely hour of browsing cribs and baby clothes and generally "getting my Mom on" for the very first time, I quickly asked where the morning sickness stuff was hidden, grabbed a bunch, paid for it, checked for spotting in the rest room one more time, and then got in my car and called my OB's office. It wasn't a lot of blood by any means, and I wasn't cramping (yet, though I have been a bit since), but as it was more blood than I'd seen previously (and was blood this time, not just tinted CM)... and, well, it totally freaked me out.

The OB on call called me back a few minutes later; when my phone rang I was already making my way back home, so I pulled off the road to answer. I told her my story and she said probably it was the "vanishing twin" resolving itself, and, if it WAS more than that, there really was nothing anyone could do to stop it. So she suggested I take it easy for a few days (pelvic rest, nothing too strenuous, etc.), and call my doctor on Monday to see if they could see me next week to put my mind at ease. The spotting hasn't been as bad since, but has reappeared off and on throughout the day.

Edited to add: I wish I had thought to ask, or that my OB had come out with it on her own, how the vanishing twin would "resolve itself." [She didn't use the term "vanishing twin," but some surfing on the net showed me that this is pretty much what happened. The only major difference being that I didn't know I was carrying two until we saw that the second was already non-viable.] It would have been helpful to know ahead of time that I might experience some bleeding and cramping. While my 8-week ultrasound was affirming and joyful, it didn't really put my mind at ease at all. I've been more worried about the health of the living twin (and it's hard not to think of it as "1 of 2" now, even if the second fertilization never developed past a yoke sac) now that I know that two had been in there. Well, yeah, the spotting doesn't help.

Ugh. This is tough. I'm trying not to stress too much -- I know it's counterproductive, and likely this is all perfectly normal -- but it's hard not to worry. And DH and I are meeting with the genetic counselor on Monday to talk about testing, and that's all got me in a tizzy too (options, timing, what we would/wouldn't do with the results, etc.). I just want to know my little Gummy Bear is okay.

Houston, we have a heartbeat!

Great first prenatal appointment this morning! I was excited because (besides the obvious) it would be the first time I'd get to celebrate the news with my gynecologist, now obstetrician. I'd last seen her about two months ago at a pre-conception appointment where she'd sent me for my CD3 testing and gave me a referral to an RE. So it was sweet to see her and come for a pregnancy visit instead! DH was a trooper and joined me.

And... everything looks great. The baby is measuring a day ahead of where I thought it was. Through my charting on Fertility Friend, I thought I was at 8w1d, with an estimated due date (EDD) of May 29, 2011. The ultrasound showed 8w2d, and so my doctor put my EDD at May 28. I was glad that she listened to me when I told her that my cycles are/were on the shorter side (26 days) and that it looked like I ovulated on CD12, so the EDD based on last menstrual period (LMP) would be off by a few days... that EDD would be June 1. I know it's all guess-work anyway, and the baby will come when it comes, but well, it was nice to see all my obsessive charting not go to waste, at least.

The wild thing was that, after we got to see this cute little bean, my doctor told us that there was another sac, but there wasn't a viable baby in it. She showed it to us, and we could see that there was a yolk, but nothing else. It was surreal. In an instant I went from being pleasantly startled to wistfully sad. Pleasantly startled that it was even possible that I could have had twins, and wistful that it wasn't meant to be. The doctor said that it's unlikely that the second sac would interfere with the development of the first, which is great, but I can't help but wish a little that they both made it, or that there was only one to begin with. A mother's protective instinct starts early, I guess.

DH says that the baby looks like a Gummy Bear. It does seem to have some teddy bear-ish qualities, minus the poofy ears. If you look at the ultrasound picture, it's facing straight on, head to the left, showing little arm and leg buds, and even possibly the "belly button" and umbilical cord swinging below. I never thought I'd think of what I might see in an ultrasound image as being cute, but I can't help thinking this kid looks pretty cuddly.

Yup, I guess this kid's got me wrapped around it's little nubs of fingers already. I'm totally caught. Hook, line, and sinker.