T minus 1 and counting...

I might as well begin at the end... the end of my thirties, that is. If my mother knew I had this blog going, she'd probably be pretty upset to see me outing myself, because if I reveal how old I am, then her age is incriminated, by association... oops! When I'm with my mom (or either of my parents actually, dad's pretty ageless too) people often ask me "How's school going?" Granted, I did spend much of my adult life in grad school trying to major in, well, racking up degrees. So, in everyday social situations, it seems I can "pass" for late twenties or so.

At the doctor's office, however, the disguise is gone (enter Dorian Gray, minus the soul-selling stuff). I can't pretend that I'm 29 anymore, because there it is, right up at the top of the form, age 39. Well, tomorrow that will shift to the big Four-Oh. Forty. Okay, there. I said it. Forty. Quarante. XL. Hmmm... takes a little getting used to but, I guess it's not so bad. Yehright. I'm so not ready for this. Granted, it's more concise than thirty-nine / trente-neuf / XXXIX. Yeah, well, whatever. It's not like, if I could turn the clock back, I'd stop at 39 anyway. I guess it's just that I'm going to miss that leading 3. And for some reason hitting 40 seems like a big effing deal. Oh, right. I remember why. It's my eggs. They may not have gotten the "I'm still 29" memo.

I guess for now it's the fear of the unknown that's been getting to me. We've been trying to conceive since our wedding in April (or rather, I've been trying, and DH has been a willing participant - he's much more laid back about, well, most things in life, including having kids). Of course I have been hoping that we'd luck out and get pregnant without even needing to do any testing. But well, my ob/gyn said to come see her if nothing's happened after 3-4 months, which turns out to be right around my birthday. It's been 5 cycles and nada.

So, I went for my CD3 blood work yesterday. That should give me some indication whether I should even be anxious about my eggs. I have been really nervous about getting the tests done, because, well, I wonder if the results will make me more anxious rather than less. Here's to hoping I get good results and we can continue TTC the old-fashioned way!

My husband has a prescription for an SA (semen analysis) but we still need to make an appointment with a urologist for that (have some insurance stuff to work out). Luckily, hubby isn't squeamish about getting the test done, which I appreciate. He's "only" 31, and while that may not mean a thing fertility-wise, I'm hoping that his relative youth is a good thing.