*blushing as I try to tidy up quickly*
The first words, at least for me, are always the hardest to come by. So, I suppose I'll start with an introduction. Hi! I'm Kiki, and I started this blog as a way to let off some steam as I begin my quest for motherhood. I've been inspired by other blogs I've enjoyed reading over the past year or so (especially the ones in the list to the right), but I just haven't felt I had much of a TTC story until now. And maybe I still don't, but I'm finally feeling the urge to write.
My husband and I have been married for almost four months (wow times flies!), and we started TTC on our honeymoon - woo hoo! I've been charting my BBT (basal body temperature -- hmmm, better start a glossary) for a year now, and that's been enlightening. I've also been trying to learn what I can -- and do what I can -- to increase our chances to conceive without medical assistance. Sometimes I feel empowered by this, other times, overwhelmed. It's been quite the learning process, and really, it's only just begun. While I hear the clock chiming as loudly as if I were standing right next to Big Ben, we've only been trying for a little while, in the grand scheme of things, so I try (often failing miserably though) to keep things in perspective.
Hence the theme of Eggs Over Anxious. Over the past few months, I've watched myself try to do everything I can to facilitate getting a BFP ("big fat positive" pregnancy test). At times though, I wonder if I'm over-doing it. I don't mean that I'm already feeling burnt out, because if that were the case I know I might as well just forget about it. I've read enough stories about TTC on various message boards to know that it's not for the weak. So that's not quite what I mean. I guess what I do mean is that I can see already that I've got the type of personality that might burn out (or worse, completely thwart myself) by being too hyper-conscious in my efforts to conceive.
Yet, I know myself well enough to understand that I need to feel like I'm doing something, even if something is nothing more than writing all this stuff down so I can take a step back and breathe. The true quest then, perhaps, is a search for balance. Perhaps with writing this blog I'm trying to answer the following question: What's the "critical mass" for my level of involvement in my own reproductive process, especially when so much of it is out of my (and my husband's) control?
Anyway, over time I hope to log in here and jot down my thoughts about this journey (and, at times, other random aspects of my life), and share what I've done, and not done, what's not worked, and hopefully at some point, what HAS worked!
Thanks for reading -- I hope you find it time enjoyably spent!
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