Ugh... balance issues!

Last night I tripped on my way up the stairs to our apartment. I didn't fall, but I doubled over front-wise pretty hard before catching myself. My belly hurt at impact, felt weird to compress it so much, but afterward seemed okay. Gertrude definitely didn't like being squished!

Even so, I am the paranoid type, so I called my OB's office to try to talk to the doctor on call. Turns out my own doctor (Dr. K.; I rotate through the three in the practice - Dr. K. is my primary OB, but it was Dr. P. who scolded me about the fast food last week) was the one on call, which was nice. She said not to worry, only to contact her again if I started cramping and/or bleeding. I haven't experienced either so it probably really is fine.

I felt silly calling, but it's so hard, since I can't feel the baby yet, to know everything's really okay... and my next appointment isn't until after New Year's... come on baby, just kick me already!

Oh yeah, and I'm already clutzy by nature (DH jokes about my "balance issues" all the time), so today I went online and bought a pairs of flat-heeled boots, because the ones I tripped in have heels. They're only 1 3/4" but that's high for me; at 6'0" tall I normally wear flats but they were the only boots I could find last winter in 13N -- oh how I dread my feet getting any bigger than they already are, it's hard enough to find shoes that fit as it is! And while I had no trouble getting used to the heels last year, this time around it's a whole new ball game. If I'm already unsteady on my feet at 17 weeks... ugh, I just don't want to trip or fall again!

Busted!

All went well at my doctor's appointments yesterday... except for one thing. I got busted by my OB for eating too much "fast food." This is ironic, since in my pre-pregnancy days, I was known, especially at work, for my uber-nutritious lunches. Well, with the advent of my all-day morning sickness (not so much nausea as overall malaise, headaches and indigestion), much of my interest in healthy food disappeared. This interest in yogurt, tomatoes, baby carrots, apples and salads was replaced by cravings for pizza, EggMcMuffins and Whoppers w/cheese. Mind you, I don't eat these "horrible" things at every meal, but a quick check at my debit card statements show that I've been averaging trips to Burger King or McDonald's twice a week. Before getting pregnant, it was more like twice a month, if that.

But to be perfectly honest, it's worse than that. DH and I often eat pizza for dinner. I've been so tired when I get home from work, and usually ravenous, such that I haven't had patience for cooking, so popping a frozen pizza in the oven, or picking up something on the way home was the easiest (read: lazy) thing to do. And, to top it all off, it's the fatty, salty, greasy things that seem to please my pregnant digestive system the most.

The rub is that my bad eating habits were revealed when I asked the doctor why I might be getting headaches and feeling ill shortly after eating. My OB asked if I ate any fast food, so I confessed. I tried to tell her that the food giving me headaches isn't the EggMcMuffin or the Whopper. I can't really put my finger on which foods are the worst, but lately even eating plain oatmeal with a sprinkling of Craisins makes me feel a little headachy and ill later. Or apples. Or sweet things. It just seems like nothing sits right. Ugh.

Anyway, the doc is right. I shouldn't be eating that stuff, and, so far, I've quit cold turkey (LOL, it's only been one day; ask me again in a week). Maybe the effect of all the bad stuff is making everything difficult on my digestive system... who knows?

But otherwise, I got to hear the baby's heartbeat again (fleetingly though, as Dr. P started asking me questions while I was trying to listen), and everything seems okay. Had blood drawn to test my AFP levels (to detect neural tube defects), and saw my cardiologist later in the afternoon. All is well (won't get the test results back for a couple of weeks though).

So, dinner tonight: homemade chicken Caesar salad (with organic Caesar dressing). Maybe not the best choice, but an improvement, I hope!

Gertrude the Bump: Part II

So here's Gertrude at 16 weeks, as compared to 13 weeks. Not super different size-wise, but I'd say the bump is more well-defined now. No more bloat, it's all baby now (well and my stomach and other miscellaneous schmushed-up organs).

Birth plan conundrum

Tomorrow I go back to my OB for my 16-week appointment. Since it's almost time for me to register for birthing classes, one of the things I want to talk about with my doctor is birthing options. Seems so early to be thinking of these things, as I'm still getting used to the idea of being pregnant. But, I saw on the web yesterday that some classes may start up as soon as just after New Year's, so I shouldn't miss this chance to talk.

I think my big question for the doctor tomorrow is: does my having chronic hypertension preclude me from going through a vaginal (and possibly un-medicated) birth? I know there are risks of pre-eclampsia (and I have fibroids so there's also the risk of pre-term birth), but if these complications don't arise, is there any reason I can't try for a vaginal non-medicated birth?

Now, I'm not 100% saying I want a non-medicated birth, but for some reason the thought of having an epidural scares me more than the pain of childbirth (similarly, I was also more spooked by the idea of needing a cervical CVS than by either an abdominal CVS or amnio, so I am super glad I didn't have to go there). I don't have a fear of needles, per se, but something about having one stuck in my spine kind of freaks me out, despite the relief it is supposed to bring.

I have no idea how much pain tolerance I have. So on some level I feel challenged to see if I can take it, and due to my competitive nature, I can totally see myself psyching myself up to get through it as a personal rite of passage. Reminds me of the days when I was on the rowing team back in college. Some practices were brutal, when we pushed ourselves to our physical limits to see how fast and how hard we could pull on an oar. I'm sure it was nothing like the experience of childbirth, but it's my one marker for my own ability to willingly endure pain. And yes, I often referred to myself as a masochist during that time.

But, then, I'm not 19 anymore. Wow, it was THAT long ago... sheesh! I'm in nowhere near the shape I was back then. What am I thinking??

Anyway, I've been curious about the Bradley method, seems like an approach to a med-free childbirth that doesn't just teach you how to breath, but how to get your whole body (and partner) ready for the process of delivering a baby. I kind of wonder if going through Bradley training, which runs for 12 weeks, would help me get in better mental and physical shape such that my body would be better able to withstand the stress and maybe mitigate the need for intervention. Maybe the Bradley method itself isn't the answer, but now I'm a bit more motivated to see what I can do to prepare. Can prepping for childbirth be likened to training for a race, or endurance test? I'd like to get ready for it, if I can.

If there are any mothers out there reading this, I hope I don't sound hopelessly naive! Just trying to wrap my head around the unfathomable. It's kind of overwhelming, trying to sort out all the options and figuring out what will be right for me. And I know birth plans are just that, plans, and ones that may need to be revised (or scrapped outright) in the moment. At the same time, I'd feel better having one, so if options are available, I'll know what I want.

Sorry to be MIA

I suppose there's something to be said that "no news is good news." I've not posted because I haven't really had any updates, and have been tired enough that I couldn't think of anything witty to post.

On Monday I go for my 16-week OB appointment, so I'm looking forward to that... especially to have a chance to hear baby's heartbeat again, and know everything's still okay. I have no reason to think otherwise (symptoms continue, somewhat muted, but not completely abated --- come on, when's this Second Trimester Honeymoon gonna start?! --- and my belly, while not getting all that much bigger, is definitely changing shape and firming up), but well, I've got the kind of personality that looks for things to worry about. I cannot wait for the baby to start making his/her presence known in a palpable way... I don't need a Gostkowski (or Vinatieri) field goal attempt, but a punt or two every now and then from my future Patriots kicker would be reassuring.

And before you get all Nancy Drew and go "Team Blue!" on me... NO, I have NOT A CLUE whether the avocado-sized possibly future athlete I'm carrying is a girl-type baby or a boy-type baby... they'll be drafting women to the NFL by 2032, won't they? Yeah, I'm not holding my breath either.

While I have no strong wish for my child to be a professional athlete (unless that's what the babe wants), it is pretty neat to think about what this child will end up deciding to be when she/he grows up. It's easy to forget sometimes, when you're focused on the here and now and soon-to-be, that this is a whole new life waiting to happen. Cool!

Yikes! I think I'll go back to worrying about whether there's a heartbeat now.