Snowy Day Update

Morning commute was horrible. Snow coming down fast, spent the whole time driving wondering what the devil I was doing trying to get to work (oh yeah, I work so I can get paid... ok that makes sense). Took twice as long to get there, and just as I'm taking off my coat and turning on my computer I get a text message from a co-worker saying, "We're closing up at noon. If you're not already here, don't bother coming in!" Great timing.

Turns out, this actually resulted in one of my more productive mornings of late. The last couple of weeks I have felt super sluggish and achy, and no amount of sleep seems to alleviate my fatigue. But, since DH will be going in for hernia surgery on Friday (something that needed to be taken care of before the baby gets here, and before I morph into a beached whale), and there is the threat of snow tomorrow as well, I realized I needed to get things in order and grab stuff to take home with me... just in case. Nothing like a hard deadline to get the adrenaline pumping.

So now I am home, feeling like a nap is coming on. Or maybe I'll just hang out on the recliner and watch the snow fall. Sounds about my speed today.

To back up a bit: I had my 22-week OB appointment yesterday; all is well. I asked about the possibility that I might be able to have a med-free birth experience, and whether it would make sense to take Bradley method childbirth classes (something I've been looking into, and which would start in a couple of weeks). Dr. K. said she thought the classes would be beneficial to take, though she couldn't guarantee that I could deliver med- or intervention-free. And for the first time, this pregnancy, I heard the phrase "higher risk" applied to my situation. Was wondering when that would happen. Given my age, and my high blood pressure, the fibroids, and the fact that I am being seen by high risk doctors in addition to my regular OB, I'd thought I'd have a scarlet letter H sewn in to all my maternity clothes long ago. I have to admit though, it's kind of nice that the doctors aren't making assumptions, and at least humoring me that, provided my blood pressure and the fibroids stay under control, I might be able to delivery without intervention.

That said, I'm not 100% convinced that I want to deliver med-free... I just don't really like the mechanics of getting an epidural, even though I hear they can make delivery a dream. All the same, I like having options, and I'll do what is necessary to get this baby safely from my womb to the world.

***

Ever had to wear braces? Or a retainer? Remember what it felt like maybe a day or two after getting them tightened... that dull ache that just doesn't go away (or disappears until it's time to put your teeth to some responsible use)? Well, it occurred to me that I'm sort of having a flashback to that sensation, only this time it's my pelvis that is being forcibly corrected. I am really achy "down there" sometimes, and it feels as if my pubic bone is being stretched apart. Fun stuff, let me tell ya. Doc says it's completely normal though, just another way my body is getting ready for Operation Get Baby Out. Well, no horseback or bicycle riding for me any time soon (snow and desire notwithstanding). I'm hobbled enough as it is.

OMG... half-way already?!?

Happy New Year! I know I've neglected my poor blog for the last couple of weeks, but hopefully today's post will make up for it. :)

I can't believe I'm at 20 weeks already. While it hasn't exactly flown by, it's still unreal to me that there's only 20 weeks left to go. I am starting to feel very unprepared!

The holidays were fun, but not so relaxing. I spent much of the week between Christmas and New Year's traveling to visit friends and family, including spending 8 hours driving through the blizzard in Pennsylvania and New Jersey (I didn't say all of the travel was smart). Oh, and DH and I went emergency car shopping and bought a new family vehicle. Yeah, DH's car broke down and we found out the engine is shot. So now Operation Gratitude has converted our old car into some care packages for our troops, and we, in turn, have found ourselves a new set of wheels. Probably better that this happened now, rather than, oh, say 5 months from now, but it certainly threw a curveball into our vacation plans.

On to some baby news...

DH and I went for my Level II ultrasound on Tuesday. The baby was squirming all around, but the tech was able to (eventually) get all the measurements she needed (hardest of all was the right hand, which the baby seemed to want to hide from us. Personally I was most fascinated to see the heart. The tech got a really good shot of it beating, and I could clearly see all four chambers working away. We didn't find out the sex, and apparently the tech didn't even check (I imagine she saw anyway, she did measure both thigh bones after all, but was really good at keeping quiet about it). So we remain solidly Team Green!

At one point the tech asked me how my due date had been calculated, and I told her it was based off of my first ultrasound. Then she asked DH and me how big we were at birth. Why? Because our baby is measuring a week ahead of schedule, at a whopping 14 1/2 ounces (this ultrasound was done at 19w3d)! I wasn't a big baby -- only 6lbs, 9 oz -- but DH was a little over 8 lbs -- still not huge. I guess it's not surprising that our baby is measuring big -- DH and I are both 6'0" tall, after all. Oh boy... or girl!

Our doctor came in and said that everything looked great. He asked us if we intended to do an amnio, and we told him that we only wanted to do one if the ultrasound showed anything of concern. The doctor said, then no, I don't see any reason you need one. Woot!

The only downside to the visit is that the tech found that I have two more fibroids, making a total now of four. Doc said that they likely won't present any problem, but they want to watch on in particular, which is lower down on my uterus, and could possibly grow to block the birth canal (mandating a Caesarian). Not the end of the world, and I'll do what I need to get my baby out safely, but I'm hoping it won't come to that.

Next up: OB appointment on Monday, and then I'll see the perinatologist again in 4 weeks.

So now for the fun part... pics!

It's still hard to believe this little person is squirming around inside of me. I've felt a few "pops" and bubbles, especially the afternoon following the ultrasound, but it's still so surreal.

It was difficult for the tech to get a good shot, but the doc managed to catch this one... not too shabby! I feel like I need to eat more though, put some more meat on her/his bones... but apparently baby will "flesh out" over time.

Pretty cool stuff!

And of course, Gertrude the Bump wanted some air-time too... so here she is at 20 weeks, looking like I swallowed a soccer ball...

Ugh... balance issues!

Last night I tripped on my way up the stairs to our apartment. I didn't fall, but I doubled over front-wise pretty hard before catching myself. My belly hurt at impact, felt weird to compress it so much, but afterward seemed okay. Gertrude definitely didn't like being squished!

Even so, I am the paranoid type, so I called my OB's office to try to talk to the doctor on call. Turns out my own doctor (Dr. K.; I rotate through the three in the practice - Dr. K. is my primary OB, but it was Dr. P. who scolded me about the fast food last week) was the one on call, which was nice. She said not to worry, only to contact her again if I started cramping and/or bleeding. I haven't experienced either so it probably really is fine.

I felt silly calling, but it's so hard, since I can't feel the baby yet, to know everything's really okay... and my next appointment isn't until after New Year's... come on baby, just kick me already!

Oh yeah, and I'm already clutzy by nature (DH jokes about my "balance issues" all the time), so today I went online and bought a pairs of flat-heeled boots, because the ones I tripped in have heels. They're only 1 3/4" but that's high for me; at 6'0" tall I normally wear flats but they were the only boots I could find last winter in 13N -- oh how I dread my feet getting any bigger than they already are, it's hard enough to find shoes that fit as it is! And while I had no trouble getting used to the heels last year, this time around it's a whole new ball game. If I'm already unsteady on my feet at 17 weeks... ugh, I just don't want to trip or fall again!

Busted!

All went well at my doctor's appointments yesterday... except for one thing. I got busted by my OB for eating too much "fast food." This is ironic, since in my pre-pregnancy days, I was known, especially at work, for my uber-nutritious lunches. Well, with the advent of my all-day morning sickness (not so much nausea as overall malaise, headaches and indigestion), much of my interest in healthy food disappeared. This interest in yogurt, tomatoes, baby carrots, apples and salads was replaced by cravings for pizza, EggMcMuffins and Whoppers w/cheese. Mind you, I don't eat these "horrible" things at every meal, but a quick check at my debit card statements show that I've been averaging trips to Burger King or McDonald's twice a week. Before getting pregnant, it was more like twice a month, if that.

But to be perfectly honest, it's worse than that. DH and I often eat pizza for dinner. I've been so tired when I get home from work, and usually ravenous, such that I haven't had patience for cooking, so popping a frozen pizza in the oven, or picking up something on the way home was the easiest (read: lazy) thing to do. And, to top it all off, it's the fatty, salty, greasy things that seem to please my pregnant digestive system the most.

The rub is that my bad eating habits were revealed when I asked the doctor why I might be getting headaches and feeling ill shortly after eating. My OB asked if I ate any fast food, so I confessed. I tried to tell her that the food giving me headaches isn't the EggMcMuffin or the Whopper. I can't really put my finger on which foods are the worst, but lately even eating plain oatmeal with a sprinkling of Craisins makes me feel a little headachy and ill later. Or apples. Or sweet things. It just seems like nothing sits right. Ugh.

Anyway, the doc is right. I shouldn't be eating that stuff, and, so far, I've quit cold turkey (LOL, it's only been one day; ask me again in a week). Maybe the effect of all the bad stuff is making everything difficult on my digestive system... who knows?

But otherwise, I got to hear the baby's heartbeat again (fleetingly though, as Dr. P started asking me questions while I was trying to listen), and everything seems okay. Had blood drawn to test my AFP levels (to detect neural tube defects), and saw my cardiologist later in the afternoon. All is well (won't get the test results back for a couple of weeks though).

So, dinner tonight: homemade chicken Caesar salad (with organic Caesar dressing). Maybe not the best choice, but an improvement, I hope!

Gertrude the Bump: Part II

So here's Gertrude at 16 weeks, as compared to 13 weeks. Not super different size-wise, but I'd say the bump is more well-defined now. No more bloat, it's all baby now (well and my stomach and other miscellaneous schmushed-up organs).

Birth plan conundrum

Tomorrow I go back to my OB for my 16-week appointment. Since it's almost time for me to register for birthing classes, one of the things I want to talk about with my doctor is birthing options. Seems so early to be thinking of these things, as I'm still getting used to the idea of being pregnant. But, I saw on the web yesterday that some classes may start up as soon as just after New Year's, so I shouldn't miss this chance to talk.

I think my big question for the doctor tomorrow is: does my having chronic hypertension preclude me from going through a vaginal (and possibly un-medicated) birth? I know there are risks of pre-eclampsia (and I have fibroids so there's also the risk of pre-term birth), but if these complications don't arise, is there any reason I can't try for a vaginal non-medicated birth?

Now, I'm not 100% saying I want a non-medicated birth, but for some reason the thought of having an epidural scares me more than the pain of childbirth (similarly, I was also more spooked by the idea of needing a cervical CVS than by either an abdominal CVS or amnio, so I am super glad I didn't have to go there). I don't have a fear of needles, per se, but something about having one stuck in my spine kind of freaks me out, despite the relief it is supposed to bring.

I have no idea how much pain tolerance I have. So on some level I feel challenged to see if I can take it, and due to my competitive nature, I can totally see myself psyching myself up to get through it as a personal rite of passage. Reminds me of the days when I was on the rowing team back in college. Some practices were brutal, when we pushed ourselves to our physical limits to see how fast and how hard we could pull on an oar. I'm sure it was nothing like the experience of childbirth, but it's my one marker for my own ability to willingly endure pain. And yes, I often referred to myself as a masochist during that time.

But, then, I'm not 19 anymore. Wow, it was THAT long ago... sheesh! I'm in nowhere near the shape I was back then. What am I thinking??

Anyway, I've been curious about the Bradley method, seems like an approach to a med-free childbirth that doesn't just teach you how to breath, but how to get your whole body (and partner) ready for the process of delivering a baby. I kind of wonder if going through Bradley training, which runs for 12 weeks, would help me get in better mental and physical shape such that my body would be better able to withstand the stress and maybe mitigate the need for intervention. Maybe the Bradley method itself isn't the answer, but now I'm a bit more motivated to see what I can do to prepare. Can prepping for childbirth be likened to training for a race, or endurance test? I'd like to get ready for it, if I can.

If there are any mothers out there reading this, I hope I don't sound hopelessly naive! Just trying to wrap my head around the unfathomable. It's kind of overwhelming, trying to sort out all the options and figuring out what will be right for me. And I know birth plans are just that, plans, and ones that may need to be revised (or scrapped outright) in the moment. At the same time, I'd feel better having one, so if options are available, I'll know what I want.

Sorry to be MIA

I suppose there's something to be said that "no news is good news." I've not posted because I haven't really had any updates, and have been tired enough that I couldn't think of anything witty to post.

On Monday I go for my 16-week OB appointment, so I'm looking forward to that... especially to have a chance to hear baby's heartbeat again, and know everything's still okay. I have no reason to think otherwise (symptoms continue, somewhat muted, but not completely abated --- come on, when's this Second Trimester Honeymoon gonna start?! --- and my belly, while not getting all that much bigger, is definitely changing shape and firming up), but well, I've got the kind of personality that looks for things to worry about. I cannot wait for the baby to start making his/her presence known in a palpable way... I don't need a Gostkowski (or Vinatieri) field goal attempt, but a punt or two every now and then from my future Patriots kicker would be reassuring.

And before you get all Nancy Drew and go "Team Blue!" on me... NO, I have NOT A CLUE whether the avocado-sized possibly future athlete I'm carrying is a girl-type baby or a boy-type baby... they'll be drafting women to the NFL by 2032, won't they? Yeah, I'm not holding my breath either.

While I have no strong wish for my child to be a professional athlete (unless that's what the babe wants), it is pretty neat to think about what this child will end up deciding to be when she/he grows up. It's easy to forget sometimes, when you're focused on the here and now and soon-to-be, that this is a whole new life waiting to happen. Cool!

Yikes! I think I'll go back to worrying about whether there's a heartbeat now.

"Brown Saturday"

Can I coin this term? I didn't dare venture out on Black Friday, as I have little patience (and nowhere near the energy right now) for traffic, crowds or long lines. Instead, I decided to try my luck this morning and get in some birthday and Secret Santa shopping (DH and two of his sisters have birthdays coming up soon). I was amazed at a) how reasonable the traffic and crowds were, and b) how quickly I was overwhelmed by fatigue. I only went to two stores, but found myself resting in my parked car between stops. [Okay, I admit that's partially because it gave me an excuse to listen to more of my latest book on CD, Dan Brown's Angels and Demons. I'm about two-thirds of the way through and the action's getting pretty intense right now --- and I haven't seen the movie, so please don't spoil it for me!] I guess I'm still recuperating from Thanksgiving day, but it's probably also due to the fact that I was banned from exercise for a few weeks by my OB due to spotting (which has fully subsided now).

Anyhoo... one of the stores I stopped in was Babies 'R Us. The last time I was there (when I was about 9 weeks along), my visit was cut short and panicked as I discovered I was spotting heavily when I went to use the restroom. This time all was well (except for the fact that only the kiddie stall had any toilet paper -- I alerted Customer Service), and I spent as much time as energy allowed browsing through... well, everything. It was my first time in there shopping as an expectant mom (ooh!) and whoa was it overwhelming... but in a good way.

Two thoughts occurred to me after my reconnaissance visit:

1) Searching for a stroller already feels like buying a new car. We will seriously need to test drive and find one that will be comfortable for my and DH's 6' tall frames (and a car seat that will fit in the back seat of my Matrix; I worry this will be a problem since the front seats are set all the way back to accommodate our long legs).

2) This child will probably have his or her own real furniture (with a capital F) before DH and I will (we do have a new bed and a new china cabinet/buffet -- wedding gifts -- but otherwise all of our furniture is still the hodge-podge of hand-me-downs and random dorm room-esque acquisitions). However, there's one caveat: I've suggested we get a real couch since my futon-couch is not really cutting it now that my pregnant butt is spending much time convalescing on it in the evenings, usually watching old NCIS episodes.

Thanksgiving success

Yesterday DH and I went to his father's for dinner. For me, it was no ordinary Thanksgiving, as DH's dad had invited my parents too... all four of them. The only other time my mother, father, stepmother and stepfather had ever successfully spent an extended time all together was at our wedding seven months ago, and while I'd been delighted then beyond belief, I never imagined there would be a repeat performance.

In all, we had a table set for 14: me and DH, DH's dad and stepmother, my mom and stepfather, my father and stepmother, DH's paternal grandparents, my two sisters, DH's sister, and DH's stepsister. Lost yet?

We ate lots, watched football (yay Pats!) and got along great. I'm so proud of my parents; they're finally all growed up!

And I have to say, there's something to be said for being pregnant when you're family is together and everyone's psyched about it. While I felt like one of the hosts, and wanted to make sure that my side of the family was comfortable and settled in well after they arrived, very soon it seemed that everyone was making sure I was comfortable. I didn't have to take a "No, thank you" helping if I didn't want one, and no one was offended if I didn't finish everything on my plate (or if later I wanted seconds, or thirds). I could sit on the couch, put my feet up, and people brought me pillows. Everyone kept asking if I was feeling okay. Yes, I'll admit, I basked in the attention. Looks like my Pregnancy Rewards card is starting to pay dividends.

I had been wary of how the day would go; it would be a really long day (3 hour drive each way) and I didn't know which foods my tummy would tolerate and which it wouldn't. So it was great, and very helpful, to be reminded to pace myself and rest, especially, since I was so excited to see everyone, I felt at times I wanted to be in several places or conversations at once.

Overall, I did pretty well yesterday. I think my first trimester "sickness" symptoms are starting to wear off. I had to eat something substantial every couple of hours (had oatmeal in the morning when we got up, then a BK Croissan'wich while on the way there, then hors d'oeuvres, dinner, dessert, a turkey-and-cranberry sauce-on-toast sandwich just before we left, and a granola bar on the way home). I was glad to have managed to slip two "pigs in blankets" past my pregnancy radar before remembering they were mini hot dogs and therefore contraband -- oops, but yumma! I started to feel tired and a little headachy on the way home, but I was amazed to not feel too ill even though it was way past my bedtime. A Thanksgiving well played!

The best thing of all was getting to spend the holiday with my family (all parts of it, old and new, and all at once -- well, almost; DH's mom was with his other sisters several states away), and to have something wonderful to be thankful for and celebrate with them. It was a truly joyful day, and I am beyond grateful for it.

30-day blog challenge

So, I thought I'd try joining the 30-day blog challenge I came across when surfing other mommy-to-be and mommy blogs the other day. This particular challenge doesn't require a blog post every day, but we should strive for at least five days a week. I thought it might be a nice way to step up my game a bit and post about more than just my latest pregnancy update -- you know, maybe include a little about my thoughts about finally becoming a mother, or reflections on my TTC journey, or more notes about random silly stuff I find in life, or on the internet.

And so, it begins.

My bump has a name

Yes, that's right. My sister texted me a few weeks ago and asked if I had a bump yet, but she typed "yet" as "yetttt" (in Textese) and it got auto-corrected on her iPhone as Gertrude (???), so the text read "Do you have a bump Gertrude"... so from then on that's what we started to call it.

So, now it is my pleasure to introduce to you Gertrude the Bump, making her internet debut at 13 weeks!

PS. I can pretty much hide my bump under baggy sweaters, and can still button my coat, so it will be a while before I can really use it as a Pregnancy Rewards card.

Hopefully when I finally have a bump...

...I won't get Sir'ed as much any more - Gah!

Okay, so I'm tall. Six feet, to be exact. And cashiers are notorious for saying "Can I help you?" or "Will there be anything else?" before making eye contact. So I occasionally find myself the victim of a sales clerk's faulty assumption that anything that casts a large shadow over them must be male. "Can I help you, Sir?" usually gets no reaction from me (or a reaction where it's probably a good thing they didn't see it), so they are forced to actually look up and realize their folly.

Last night, though, I was at Chipotle (my BFF of fast-food restaurants these days: high carb content + stomach-friendly legumes and veggies = happy pregnant camper) and got Sir'ed by this girl. But when she looked up at me, she didn't seem to get that she'd made a mistake. I certainly gave her a quizzical look, kind of expecting some sort of reaction, but maybe she either didn't catch her mistake or figured it was best to move on and fuhgedaboudit. Of course then two thoughts ran through my head:

1) Do I look overly androgynous today? At which point I made sure to put my "man-purse" flagrantly on the counter as I rifled to find my wallet... and as I think about it now, that could have backfired (I have had to come to terms that the reason I'm finding more and more stilettos in my size online is more due to drag queens than evolutionary genetics)...

And,

2) Oooh, maybe once I get a real bump this won't happen to me any more (or at least for a few months of my life I can feel unambiguously female)!

But then again, maybe they'll think it's just a beer gut.

Such a sweet sound

Got to listen to the baby's heartbeat at my 12-week OB appointment yesterday. Dr. K held the doppler on my abdomen for a good 15 seconds or so. Seemed like such a long time compared to the two or three beats we heard at the NT scan last week. Such an amazing sound, yet still so incomprehensible to me. Fascinating. I can see why people buy dopplers to listen to the heartbeat at home. I'm tempted to do it, but I don't think I will. Plus, DH would think I'm ridiculous. But my next appointment isn't for another four weeks, and I doubt I'll be able to feel the baby kick before then, so the next month will be a true test of patience.

My plan is to "out" myself publicly at Thanksgiving, but my mini bump may have other ideas. I'm hoping I can keep up the disguise at work for another week, but I'm noticing that my belly is pushing at the insides of even my baggiest sweaters. It's kind of mirage-like, depending on how I move it's "now you see it, now you don't." So maybe I will accessorize with a clipboard or files when I walk around the office over the next few days.

In other news:

1) I'm home sick from work today, having developed a sore throat over the weekend and feeling a bit run down today. I went to a wedding last weekend, staying overnight in NYC along with some of DH's family (FIL's goddaughter got married), and I think I overdid it. I usually crash at home by 6:30 pm and that's the time the ceremony began. Ate lots of good food, but probably too much of a random mix. And then the hotel bed was as hard as a rock. Ah well, I still had a blast!

2) Being home today serves another convenient purpose -- now I don't have to lug a big orange jug around with me at work all day. Yup, it's time to produce that 24-hour urine sample. Fun times. Just have to make sure DH doesn't think I got him a new drink to try (I have to store it in the refrigerator).

3) Got my flu shot yesterday. Had the sore throat before the shot, so I hope they don't compound one another. But so far I only feel a little bit of soreness where the needle went in (which I didn't feel at all).

And now, it's nap time.

Just a pic...

Finally got the ultrasound scanned from Tuesday's appointment, so here it is! It's cute that the tech labeled this image "BABY." I'm pretty sure it's the baby's arms wiggling around in front of it's face (head to the right).

First Trimester Screening Results

Went for my NT ultrasound this morning... and all seems to be well! I'll cut to the chase and go over the numbers first, then add some flavor text at the end about our doctor's visit:

Since I already had blood work done previously, the genetic counselor was able to go over the numbers with us right away.

The nuchal fold at the back of the baby's neck measured 1.3 mm (totally normal), and they were able to locate the nasal bone.

Combining these physical results with the blood work (or something), they came up with the following assessment:

The baby's risk for Down Syndrome is 1:1,461 (way down from my initial risk of 1:74 due to my age).

The baby's risk for Trisomies 13 or 18 is 1:2,521 (down from 1:127).

Very reassuring numbers all around!

Since these results are so good, DH and I have decided to forego the CVS test. If something shows up on the Level II ultrasound (now scheduled for January 4), then we might opt for an amnio. But with these great numbers, we don't want to take the risk of doing an invasive test.

Talk about a big sigh of relief! I was really not looking forward to the CVS test. Call me strange, but for some reason getting a catheter threaded up my "hoo ha" is not on my "must do" Bucket List. The thought of being stuck with a really big needle in my abdomen is slightly more palatable, but really I'd much rather avoid either if I can, especially due to their risk of causing a miscarriage.

Some other notable things I learned at today's trip to the perinatologist:

1. My bladder is smaller than a Poland Springs water bottle. I drank the obligatory 24 ounces of water on my way to the appointment. But by time I got there, I already felt I had to pee like a racehorse. I begged the receptionist to let me get rid of some of it, which helped immensely (but oh, how hard it was to stop mid-empty!). I made it through the ultrasound with the tech all right, though I had to do Kegels every time she pressed down hard on my abdomen. Thing is, she wouldn't let me go to the restroom after she was done. "I'm going to get the doctor now and he needs to see you with a full bladder." Oh dear. Well, that didn't work so well. It took him almost a half of an hour to appear, so by about 15 minutes I was in pain. I urged DH to go ask if I could let some more go, and luckily he found someone who showed me the nearest bathroom. Now, if you thought it was hard to stop peeing the first time I went... I don't know how I managed this second time! But, luckily, I was able to keep enough liquid in there for the doctor to get the view he needed. Note to self: a 12-ounce bottle should be fine next time!

2. Apparently I am one of the 6.8 billion (human) freaks of nature inhabiting the earth. Talking to the genetic counselor today, I learned that I have a chromosomal abnormality, a paracentric inversion of chromosome 12. Basically it means that part of the chromosome is upside down (part of the long part of the chromosome), and on only one of the pair. What does this mean? As far as I can tell, not much. Since I'm fairly healthy overall, whatever got messed up in me hasn't manifest, and it doesn't look like it will affect the baby at all, either. What might be affected in the future, is conceiving future children, because if my inverted half of chromosome 12 is the one in my eggs, then it will have to do a flip to match up with DH's half of chromosome 12. I think. I may have totally botched that explanation, but even if it's not accurate the gist of it is true: my chromosome 12 needs to be good at gymnastics.

As for the "freaks of nature" comment above, that stems from a conversation I had with a friend today where she surmised that, likely, all of us have something screwy going on in our genetic makeup, but for the large part of us, it doesn't affect us in any tangible way.

3. I suffer from visions of grandeur. My perinatologist (i.e., high risk doctor) wants me to provide a 24-hour urine sample (due to my hypertension, they want a baseline of my kidney function for future reference). So they provided me with a rather large orange jug, in which I am to collect ALL of my urine during a 24 hour period of my choosing. Well, after the episode earlier where I was convinced that Niagara Falls was going to spew from my bladder, and knowing that I have always had to use the bathroom frequently throughout the day and night (even before getting pregnant), I thought that maybe one of these jugs wasn't enough. And since they said I needed to collect everything, I asked whether I needed a second jug. The nurse looked a little skeptical, but gave me a second one anyway. I soon became extremely self-conscious walking through the office hallways with two jugs, not the least because it seemed all of the staff were giggling at me (they were nice enough not to outright laugh). Okay, so maybe I won't need to pee all that much, but how should I know?! Stay tuned... ;)

Sorry for the uber-long post, but a lot happened today! I'll scan and post the new ultrasound pic tomorrow if I can.

NT scan tomorrow

Not much to report for this week, thankfully! Spotting has taken a hiatus (hopefully a long one), and I essentially just spent the week battling with food. Most of the time, the food won. I see food I like, and then it tastes great while I eat, but then somehow something goes wrong. Indigestion, headaches, sometimes nausea (though I'll admit nausea attacks are fewer and farther between). Pizza and Egg McMuffins are my BFFs right now. Luckily so is my daily oatmeal. I think that is the most nutritious thing I am eating, so I hope it packs a punch.

Anyway, tomorrow or Wednesday I'll have a bigger update, as Tuesday morning I'll go for my NT scan. Depending on the results (they've already done the blood work so we'll know our odds right away), we may stop there, or I might have the CVS done in the afternoon. I'd really rather avoid invasive testing. But if there's anything uncertain or high risk in the results, we'll do it.

So if you have any prayers and/or positive healthy baby vibes to spare, please send them our way!

Week 10: Baby is the size of...

... a hot dog. Well, not really. This week my baby is supposed to be the size of a prune... err, excuse me, dried plum.* But in my travels through cyberspace this past week, I happened across an image of a baby in a hot dog costume.** I know that comparing my new inhabitant's size to that of widely accessible food products is supposed to help me understand how its growth is progressing, but somehow the notion of a baby slathered in ketchup and mustard, cradled in a toasted bun just seems wrong. As in Jonathan Swift's satiric yet "modest" proposal wrong.

At the same time, it's making me hungry (and the costume IS kind of cute, in a disturbing sort of way). Well, as hot dogs are off limits too, I guess I'll go make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead. Baby's bigger than a peanut by now, I think. So I should be safe.

Happy Halloween!

*Apparently prunes are undergoing an image makeover, in an attempt to broaden their consumer base beyond those of Advanced Constipated Age. So now they preferred to be called The Fruit Formerly Known As Prune.

**The picture above is not the picture I saw earlier this week, but for the life of me I cannot find it. I think the actual costume that struck my eye was made by Gymboree, but their website only shows it empty. :(

And... we're okay!

Called the doctor's office as soon as they opened and was able to be seen in fairly short order. My regular doctor (Dr. K.) is out on Thursdays (it's the day she does surgery), but since I will rotate through the other doctors in the practice throughout the pregnancy anyway, I was just glad that someone could see me today. Today it was Dr. P. She's awesome (and, by the way, I love it that all the physicians in the practice are female).

So, it does seem that the bleeding is all due to the second sac resolving itself -- being reabsorbed, squashed out by the thriving fetus, whathaveyou. I just hadn't expected to experience this much bleeding (this morning when I woke up, it was like being surprised by getting my period). Dr. P. said she can't tell me how long to expect the bleeding to go on for, but she showed me that the second sac is much smaller than the healthy one, whether through its own dissolution or because the other one continues to grow, or both. Eventually though, it should disappear.

Otherwise, cervix looked good, which was very reassuring, and the baby looks great. Saw the heartbeat again, and the baby jiggled around a little while we watched. It wasn't waving its arms as much as the last time, but what amazed me this time was how much more developed it seemed, even after only three days! On Monday, it looked more blob-like, but today, I think you can see one of its eyes, and maybe its face! And the hands and feet seem more dense, if that's the right word. I might be imagining all this, but see for yourself:

I am fascinated, much relieved and, definitely, in love. Both today and on Monday the baby measured two days ahead of its due date (May 28), but since it's only two days, Dr. P. didn't want to change the EDD.

Next up: NT Scan on November 9, and next OB visit on the 15th. Really hoping I don't have to go back to the doctor before either of these dates, though Dr. P. said that if anything comes up, or I needed reassurance, I shouldn't hesitate to call them and come in. I am so glad they are cool like that!

A bit scared...

Went to the doctor on Monday morning to follow up on the spotting I'd experienced over the weekend. Turned out everything was fine. Heartbeat good and baby measured another two days ahead of where it was last week, and I got to see it wiggle its wee arms for a second or two.

And, better yet, the spotting had stopped. Petered out by Monday afternoon, and nothing Tuesday or Wednesday.

Until this morning, when I woke up to go to the bathroom an hour before my alarm was to go off and found that I was, not spotting, but bleeding. Oh God.

So I'm on my way to my doctor's office. They don't open until 9, but I plan to call them from their parking lot and see if they can see me. I'm cramping just a little bit off and on.

I hope this is not what I fear it is. Thoughts and prayer would be appreciated. I'll keep you posted.

Six months ago today...

...DH and I got married. Saturday, April 24, 2010, Cape Cod, Massachusetts. We lucked out with beautiful weather (mid-60s and hardly a cloud in the sky). I had been incredibly stressed trying to get everything ready, but when I woke up the morning of, it was like none of that mattered (well, okay, maybe not right when I woke up, as I still had to finish composing the Prayers of the Faithful, but as soon as that was done I was able to relax). I put it all aside in my head and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It really was the perfect day.

Originally when I thought of our six-month anniversary, I imagined either going out for a nice dinner, or better yet, cooking a delicious meal and laying it all out on our new china and crystal. One of these things may still happen, but my morning sickness is persuading me toward take-out. We could still use the good plates and glasses, though.

And if we don't go out, then maybe we might go through our photographer's pictures, and start trying to figure out which ones we'd want in an album. For now, since DH is still sleeping, I'll content myself with looking at the slideshow our photographer put together for us. Have a look too, if you'd like. The background music is our First Dance song, "Ice Cream" by Sarah McLachlan (DH proposed to me by carving "Will you marry me" in a tub of Friendly's Vienna Mocha Chip).